修改润色作文教学设计课件

讲授方式：讲解+示范+练习+评价

一、引言

润色作文是指对已完成的作文进行文字、句式、语法等方面的修改和精细的润饰以达到增加表现力和交际效果的过程，通常被称为“润色 polishing”或“润饰 revising”。

本节课将从润色的概念入手，介绍润色的重要性、润色的方法及实践技巧，并通过练习和评价来巩固学生的润色能力。

二、润色的定义

润色是对已写好的作文进行逐字逐句、全面系统的修改和描摹，以增强作文的表现力和交际效果。它可以关注文字、句式、语法等多方面，使作文通顺、流畅、美观，展示作者的思想及情感。

三、润色的重要性

1. 提高表现力：润色可以让语言更具有表现力和生动感，使文章更具深度和内涵，让读者能够感受到作者的情感和思想。

2. 改善交际效果：良好的润色可以使读者对文段的质量有更高的评价和截然不同的阅读体验，提高与读者的沟通效果。

3. 整体印象：一个文章的整体印象很大程度上取决于用词、句法和语言规范，润色可以让文章加以精细处理，使其展现出高质量、严谨的风格。

四、润色的方法与实践技巧

1. 修改句子：通过调整句子长度、改变句式、增加或删除表达方式等方式来达到更好的表现力和可读性。

例如：

- 原句：In order to avoid some large mistakes, the teacher should carefully mark students' papers. - 修改后：To prevent major errors, the instructor should carefully grade the students' papers.

2. 修改语言规范：可以通过修改拼写错误、时态不一致和主谓不一致等问题来提升文章的语言规范。

例如：

- 原句：I don't like ice-cream, because its too cold. - 修改后：I don't like ice cream because it is too cold.

3. 修改结构：可以通过重组段落，改变段落顺序，添加或删除段落，来使文章结构更为紧凑和高效。

例如：

- 原文：My first hobby is reading. My second hobby is playing soccer. My third hobby is playing guitar. - 修改后：My hobbies include reading, playing soccer, and playing guitar.

五、练习

请根据以下两个段落，进行润色，使其达到更好的表达和可读性。

原文1：

A lot of people today love video games. They play video games all day long. Video games are very popular with children and adults alike.

改进后1：

Nowadays, video games have become a widely popular form of entertainment for both children and adults. Many people love to play video games all day long.

原文2：

Life is too short to not make the most of every moment. We should value our time and spend it wisely. We should do things that we enjoy and that make us happy.

改进后2：

Our time on this earth is fleeting, and we should cherish each moment. It's vital to use our time in a productive and fulfilling way, focusing on activities that bring us joy and happiness.